Dream or Reality: Should Parents Set Realistic Expectations?

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Still naïve of the world, children can have the most absurd goals and dreams. When parents ask them about what they wish to become, the sky quite literally becomes the limit. As children navigate around wishes and desires, should parents set realistic expectations?

When it comes to discussions about their responsibility and influence on children’s dreams, people can be conflicted. On one hand, they believe parents should support their children regardless of what they set their eyes on. It doesn’t matter if they wish to find a cure for cancer or build flying cars, parents should reassure them that they will. This argument posits that life will be cruel enough to cut them down, so parents should build them up before it does.

On the other hand, people believe parents should steer their children toward a more realistic direction. This doesn’t mean their dreams will be invalidated or brushed off. Instead, parents must learn to set boundaries and guide their children toward more attainable goals.

Should parents set realistic expectations?

What Is the Meaning of Realistic Expectation?

Realistic expectations differ from one person to another. In children, this can require more leniency. They’re born with what seemingly appears to be an infinity of dreams. Susceptible as they are, children may want to become anything they set their eyes on. They’re still to learn about the concepts of plausibility and the limitations of their abilities.

Since this is the case, should parents set realistic expectations? How should they set this standard without explicitly toning down children’s motivations?

In essence, realistic expectations are attainable goals. These are ideas or concepts children desire to achieve that parents see as possible. Depending on current circumstances and present resources, what’s realistic differs from one child to another.

Hence, parents set realistic expectations based on their personal discretion. They must take the responsibility of measuring whether their children’s preconceived goals and motivations would work or are unrealistic expectations.

This is where the thin line lies. As the process now relies on parents’ decisions and perceptions, they may overestimate or underestimate their children. However, the situation isn’t an either-or. Parents can still set attainable goals without undermining their children’s potential.

Should Parents Set Realistic Expectations?

Joanne Radke is among the many authors who write about children’s dreams and parents’ roles in them. In her book Jessica The Dreamer, the author obviously writes about how parents should be ever-supportive of whatever their children put their minds on. She doesn’t shy away from encouraging children to dream big and sets no limitations on what they wish to achieve.

Children act similarly to how Joanne writes them. They’re dreamers and visionaries who can be pretty creative in their goals. But like Joanne’s material, should parents be ever-supportive or break through children’s creativity and set realistic goals?

There’s a balance between nurturing dreams and helping children stay grounded in reality. After all, a simple tuning down may already appeal discouraging to their young minds.

Children’s dreams reflect their innocence and creativity; any signs of going against these can be detrimental. Dreams are crucial for their development. These allow children to believe in themselves and explore possibilities. When dreams are closely associated with confidence and self-esteem, there is also a risk when children are fully supported in anything but realize they don’t measure up.

Life can be cruel. It can discourage children and beat their imaginations and creativity up by showing that not every expectation will come true. Hence, parents should give them the satisfaction of building themselves up and believing they can do anything before this reality check happens.

However, is it essential for parents to wait for children to realize they aren’t perfectly capable of everything? Wouldn’t it be safer and more beneficial if parents set realistic expectations?

Encourage Dreams But Ground These in Reality

Dreams are essential in children’s lives. They’re encouraged to dream big and reminded how they can achieve anything. While doing so is great, parents should still set clear boundaries and learn to guide children towards achievable goals.

Dreaming big isn’t the problem. Instead, dissatisfaction could be damaging when children realize their dreams aren’t attainable. Parents must still encourage children to nurture their passions. But they should also be reminded that these come with setbacks and challenges. Nothing in the world is smooth sailing. While this doesn’t mean they should already be introduced to the harshness of the world, they shouldn’t be given the impression that life functions like their fairy tales.

Children’s self-esteem is primarily influenced by how they believe they measure up to expectations. They become more confident when they achieve things and disheartened when they don’t. Parents set realistic expectations to protect their children from disappointment.

When goals are attainable, children can easily experience success. This improves how they view themselves and their motivations for future endeavors. However, when these expectations are too rigid, there’s more room for disappointment.

As disappointment mounts, children’s self-value may begin to dwindle. Hence, it’s essential that parents set realistic expectations without discouraging children from dreaming.

If you want to provide your child with material about dreaming big and the satisfaction that comes with it, grab a copy of Joanne Radke’s Jessica The Dreamer now!

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Joanne Radke

With over 46 years of experience as a pastor, mentor, counselor, and friend, Joanne Radke has dedicated her life to helping countless individuals find hope and healing. Her deep compassion has led her to serve in six different ministries, including 15 years in children's ministry. Joanne’s impact extends across Canada and around the globe, most notably through her 17-year leadership of the CBA – The 700 Club Canadian prayer center, where she trains and ministers to people daily. Discover more about Joanne's remarkable journey and heart for others.

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